I need to know what my motivation is.
I feel like some hair-brained actor asking this question. I have desperation and homelessness as my motivation for one thing, but I’m missing it in several other areas, too. I can’t tell you how frustrated I am right now.
I don’t feel like writing.
I have no interest in going out and learning something to blog about, like software or new websites or any of that rot.
I have to work, really hard and get headaches, to keep up my job search.
I don’t even feel like watching TV.
And writing? Forget it. Not happening.
So what’s the problem? I have no idea. I’m not sure I want to know. I have to break out of the blahs and do it soon or there’s serious trouble ahead. There’s an iceberg on its way, and if I don’t get the ship back on course, we’re gonna slam into it.
It’s not a comforting thought, and despite my ragged nerves and quick-short nails, I’m almost paralyzed by my blandness, my total lack of energy and enthusiasm. Scary thought, if you’re looking for my opinion, but I’m not able – as of today, at least – to change it. I try not to be governed by my moods. I have to cowboy up and do what I have to do here. But it’s been danged tough to face the computer screen every day lately.
How about you? What’s your motivation for getting things done? When you’ve got something you want to check off your list in front of you, how do you marshal your resources and creativity to get it done?
Whatever it is, package it and send it to me, willya?
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