Somehow, a great deal of time of had passed. Right out from under me. It passed almost without my noticing, except in the peculiar way you have of knowing time passes even as you slumber. When I arose I’d missed almost all of my life and the world was so, so different.
Now I’m out of place. I’m a dinosaur. I stand on the verge of extinction, with no way back and no way to recover the lost years. I enter the autumnal portion of my life with only the vaguest memories, the vaguest recollection, of so many things, like the dream which dissipates, smoke on a dying summer’s breeze, slipping almost without notice into the thin air of twilight, lost on the zephyr forever. Summer clouds seem to change shape and dance on the breeze but soon are gone, forever, and no one ever even noticed their passing.
My life slipped so effortlessly behind me, a placid, glassy water’s surface which slid so unresistingly past the ship of my life, and so many of my days are behind me now. I spend time looking back and longing but I dare not look too much or the water ahead slips by unseen. The boat is forever moving, gliding swan-quiet away to the dusk.
My children are growing up and I’m growing old. They must increase, and I decrease, until finally into the dust I will slip. It used to seem so distant, that time, when I will cease. But it’s nearer than ever, looming and large and I feel the thrum it makes. Vibrations stir the ground beneath me and I know I am near the end of the journey. Nearer the end than the beginning, and during the times when I stood awake all those years ago I did much to shorten my voyage.
Now my boat grows near the shore and I feel I’ve missed so much. So very much. Like tears in rain they passed unseen, and ran in rivulets to be lost forever.
Copyright 2011 Darcknyt. All rights reserved.