Me: What’s this?
Her: Your dinner.
Me: Since when did donkey phallus make it to the menu?
Her: It’s Polish sausage, thank you very much. And you’re welcome for my heating it up.
Me: How come I get such a small donkey schlong?
(10 year-old son giggles hysterically here.)
Daughter (6 y/o): No, Daddy, you mean Donkey Kong.
(Son explodes in laughter.)
Me: So how come you get a bigger schlong than me?
Her: Because I’m better looking?
(Son’s on the floor, turning red.)
Daughter: Kong, Daddy! (giggles at Daddy’s silliness)
Me: Oh, I see what you did there. Yeah, you’ve always been one for the big schlong, haven’t you?
Her: No, not really. After all, I marr—
Me: Smart woman doesn’t finish that sentence. Think it over.