I’ve been thinking about loss lately. Loss of friends, loss of loved ones.
Some of those losses I regret. I wish things could have gone differently, or could be different now. I know, in the depths of my heart, it’s probably better this way, but the loss is…well, a loss.
My grandmother passes through my mind more during March. Her birthday would have been March 6. I believe she would have turned 97 or 98, but I don’t recall. I could Google her and find out, I suppose, but what difference does it make now? She lived a long, full life, and has moved on to the next stage. Someday I’ll see her again, I believe, though I won’t know in what context until then.
I also find it interesting as I think about lost loved ones, March 27 will also mark the tenth anniversary of my last dog’s passing. She was a good friend and I don’t know anyone who met her who didn’t love her. She was a good dog, and I loved her a lot. I miss her.
I felt this way a few nights ago when I turned to my wife and told her I loved her, and I would miss her when I’m gone. She said, “What, while you’re at work tomorrow?”
“Yes,” I answered, “then too. But when I cease. I want you to know that whatever existence I pass to, missing the three of you will be part of it.”
She was startled. I suppose it’s not a conversation you’d normally expect over pot roast and potatoes will playing Mass Effect, but that’s where my head was at the moment.
I can think of worse places to put it, if I try.
Still, spring is a time of new beginnings for most people. As usual, I run to the contrary and for me, it only represents endings. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if my ending came in spring, when everyone else looks forward to starting anew.
It’d be typical of me, I reckon.
What does spring hold for you?
Image from Wikipedia.